9-02-07 12:51 am

I'm back.

It's good to be back. Some of you may wonder why I have to tell everything. Because I feel it's my obligation so it may help you not to make the same mistakes I do. I've tried in these blogs not to bring anything bad to my family or friends and apologize if I did.

Through these last years and especially these last months I've realized that other than working to bring honor and glory to God, nothing is about me. It's about God and His greatness and how He is so good to us.

As I have gone down this road kidney failure it has been increasingly hard to have a good day or even a half of day. Spending most of my day in dialysis 3 times per week and seeing doctors once or twice a week and then averaging being in the hospital every 2 weeks for 3-5 days has consumed most of my time. When I was first diagnosed as having only 5 percent kidney function many of the doctors and nurses wanted to know if I was depressed and needed pills or psychiatric help. "No!" I responded. Why should I? There was too much going for me. My faith in God, my family, my church. But as the weeks went into months and not having any good days any more. Feeling nauseus and vomiting most days I started wondering if it would be better to give up. Yes, I know that's wrong, but I'd be a liar if I didn't admit it. Expecially these last weeks it's really been on my mind. But just when I was at my worst, the staff at the hospital were so nice to me. In fact they were so nice that it made me wonder if they knew something I didn't!

I'd get a call or card or visit from someone that would encourage me. My sister who came and stayed with me several days. My daughters who have been angels to me supported me more than I deserve.

So gradually this week I began thinking that "quit feeling sorry for yourself" and start doing something for someone else.

And then, I got home from the hospital. As I lumbered up stairs the girls and my sister were there before me with a video camera. you see, the girls had been working for several months to get me a new tv. Now I'm a gadget guy if anyone is, but it wasn't the TV that got to me as it was my daughters selfless love for me. And that put another notch on the fact that God loves me and no matter what my circumstances He takes care of me. God for some reason has brought to me people that care for me and pray for me and it's the least I can do to reciprocate it.

This last Thursday at dialysis I was in a different location in the center and there was a man who was so discouraged about his situation that he just wanted to give up. In fact, he insisted the nurses unhook him so he could just go home and die. Once you discontinue dialysis you have typically about 1 to 2 weeks to live. I prayed to ask the Lord to give me the right words to say, as I probably would never see him again. "Ed, don't give up. I'll pray for you". and so, we talked for 15 minutes or so about how God loves us and that life isn't about us. we need to set the example for others to show them how to live so they don't have to go through what we did. The easy part is to give up, but then it teaches those around us that when the going gets tough we give up. But that's not God's way. He allows circumstances in our life to test our character, to show us our true attitude toward him and so many other things.

Coincidence Ed was going through this and I was there, I know it wasn't. Saturday at dialysis as soon as I got done I went over to where I saw Ed last Thurs. and to God's glory he was there! Still suffering but he was still there!

I ask you to pray for Ed that he could get the right medical care to help him feel better, but most of all that he would come to know the Lord and the joy He gives to all who proclaim Him as Lord and Savior.
So, Im still here. plugging away and looking for opportunities to bring glory to our great God and Savior.

See you in Church!